A Surreal Conversation about being a Life Coach

Have you ever held a conversation which you later look back on and think "well that was surreal"?  Now, it could be the content of the conversation was surreal, or it could be that the circumstances of where you held the conversation were surreal.  I have.  Several times.  Both types, but I think the conversation I had a recently might just have taken the biscuit.

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​Lately I've been spending rather more time than I'd like with medical professionals and I've been using my time sitting in waiting rooms writing a lot.  Today, I was back at the hospital and it reminded me of the conversation that I had when I was here last time.

I had to go into hospital for a minor procedure that I'd opted to have carried out under a local anaesthetic.  In spite of the fact that it was a local, I was still going into theatre, and all of the standard checks were carried out.  It was fascinating to see what goes on beyond the theatre doors as any time I've been on the other side previously, I've been unconscious.

To take my mind off things, one of the nurses was chatting to me: "And what would you normally be doing today?" I started telling her that I was a Self-Image Coach and I helped people with Confidence Coaching and Image Consultancy.

A surreal conversation about being a life coach

​"Oh, so you're a Life Coach"  

Although I prefer to call it Personal Coaching, people will recognise what I do as Life Coaching, so I said yes, at which stage the Consultant arrived to start work and picked up on the flow of our chit chat: "Tell me more about that?"

I started on my usual description of what I do.

"I focus on working with women to improve their self-image since it affects everything we choose to do ultimately" I said, as I was swaddled in surgical sheets, swabbed with iodine, and injected with local anaesthetic.  I was in my flow as I talked about how the way we see ourselves determines how we respond to opportunities, the jobs we take, who we go out with, and how long we stay with them.

"You know, that's right" said the nurse, "I probably should have got divorced about 10 years before I did".

This is something I hear a lot too, from clients and friends, and I always think that if you stay for that much extra time in relationship that isn't working (assuming you've tried everything that you could to make it work), what could you have done with that time instead?  What have you missed out on?​

​"Is it expensive what you do?" the nurse asked  

Now, that's a hard one to answer because there are a lot of different dimensions to it.  What you class as expensive depends on:

    • How much money you have
    • What the value of the item would bring to you, and
    • The cost of doing nothing (the opportunity cost or impact)

What I find is that a huge number of people spend an awful lot of money to buy things to fill a hole in their life - it's a reaction to dissatisfaction.  I've been there, I've got friends who've been there, you've probably been there, in fact, you might be there right now!​  

If you are, the chances are that you're not addressing the underlying issue of your dissatisfaction: you still have the need, and you still buy the things to fill the hole in your life.  So, do you class that as expensive, and how long will you continue to live with the issue?  How expensive will that be for you in financial and emotional terms until you do decide to do something?

Until you address the need, all the time you're repeating that cycle, and what passes you by?​

How would it be if you could have a life that wasn't weighed down by the restrictions you place on yourself about "what you can't do and why"?  What if you turned that around to become "what you can do and how!"​  How much would that be worth to you?

There's an article that's been going round the internet for a couple of years now:

The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

Number 1 is "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me" and that is so salient to what I do.

If you were to look at your life just now and project that forward for the rest of your days, what would you regret?  Now, I'm very aware that could bring up some depressing thoughts up for some of you reading this post, but sometimes we need a jolt to make a change.  

Have you ever lost a friend before their time in tragic circums​tances, and for a while you've said to yourself "I have to make every day count because you never know what's round the corner"?  If you have, I imagine before too long, the immediacy of the tragedy is lost and you return to your comfort zone - a comfort zone that may be less than comfortable in reality, but it's what you know, and that feels familiar - certainly less frightening than the risky place that changing things in your life can bring to you.  And yet....

And yet... what if making the changes you put off now turn out not to be as scary as you thought?  What if they were fun, and actually excited you?

Just think about going to a fairground... 

The biggest adrenaline rushes come from the really scary rides.  The ones that you felt most apprehensive about going on in the first place.  Isn't it always much easier to get on if you have someone by your side; somebody encouraging you and giving moral support, somebody who stops you chickening out?​

Well, sometimes I describe what I do as being like that - I'm with my clients on their journey, encouraging them to keep going towards what they want in their life.

I've been described as a ​"good luck charm", and whilst I was really touched by the description, I know that what I do is to help you dig deep inside to use your own resources to create the life you want.  I'll help you uncover enough confidence to take the first step, and stay with you as your cheerleader till you are ready to run on your own. ​

If this has touched home...

I have a limited number of sessions that I offer to help people discover their confidence.  I'd be very happy to use that time with you if you want to take the first step?

I'd love to hear your comments on this post

Gillian Lewis
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Gillian Lewis

Self Image Coach at Gillian Lewis: Spectrum Coaching and Consultancy based in Darlington, County Durham, UK
What on earth is a Self-Image Coach I hear you ask – it’s cross between a Confidence Coach and Image Consultant.

I help clients become happier and more confident by giving them a Makeover from the Inside Out to change their internal and external view of themselves.

I'm not really interested in fashion, just what clothes can do for your self-image - that's where the Forget Fashion blog title originated, so I won't be doing much commentary on the latest catwalk styles.Instead, I write about things I come across in life that make me reflect.Sometimes it's serious.Sometimes it's just fun.Hopefully you'll like my writing style, find what I write about interesting and enjoy the experience.If you do, share the love using the boxes below - thank you 😀
Gillian Lewis
FOLLOW ME
About Gillian Lewis

What on earth is a Self-Image Coach I hear you ask – it’s cross between a Confidence Coach and Image Consultant.

I help clients become happier and more confident by giving them a Makeover from the Inside Out to change their internal and external view of themselves.

I'm not really interested in fashion, just what clothes can do for your self-image - that's where the Forget Fashion blog title originated, so I won't be doing much commentary on the latest catwalk styles. Instead, I write about things I come across in life that make me reflect. Sometimes it's serious. Sometimes it's just fun. Hopefully you'll like my writing style, find what I write about interesting and enjoy the experience. If you do, share the love using the boxes below - thank you :-D

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