Are you holding a distorted view of yourself?

​I've been remarkably quiet over the summer for a number of reasons, but school holidays are over now so back into gear!

Last week, we were up in Alston and went to visit the Killhope Lead Mine in Upper Weardale.  The museum have created an exhibition with a number of original items to show how the mine worked in the second half of the 19th century and the home lives of the workers and their families in this remote part of the country.  Beautiful though it is in summer and with a car, I can't imagine it was much fun​ through the middle of winter 150 years ago!

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One area of the exhibition was given over to how the locals would have enjoyed their free time. Fairs and shows loomed large as an opportunity to dress up and have fun, and one of the things that gave entertainment was the carnival mirrors which show you a very distorted view of yourself. As we played around in front of them, it did make me think of the relationship that a lot of women have with their reflection in the mirror.

Holding a distorted view of yourself

"I've got such a big forehead"

Can you look at yourself in the mirror?

What I have seen with some of my clients is their inability to actually look at themselves in the mirror, and they tell me about all of their perceived flaws that make it difficult to face their reflection. They talk about how they can't focus on their face, but instead "fuzz it out" when they style their hair, or focus intently on the part of the face that they are applying make-up to - but they can't look at their face in its entirety.

And gather any group of women together for any length of time and you'll hear some perfectly lovely lady saying something negative about herself. She'll focus on a flaw that you cannot for the life of you see, or she'll say how fat she is - and at that stage I might be thinking "I wish I was your size".

Because that's another thing we're very guilty of: comparing ourselves.

Inside every woman's head, there's very probably a voice telling you that you're not good enough, comparing yourself unfavourably to other women, stopping you from starting anything new; a voice that's eating away at your confidence. It's creating a distorted view of yourself because you're listening to it rather than to the people around you who are usually far more objective.

So, what can you do?

​Stop listening to that voice! Now, that's maybe easier said than done, but one trick to manage it is to imagine that the voice saying these things to you is saying them in the silliest, squeakiest voice that you wouldn't take seriously even if your life depended on it. Start laughing at the voice. Give it the credence it deserves - which is none! Then maybe you might start to see yourself the way you really are, like we did:

If you need a little more help...

You might feel that you need a bit more of a helping hand than being told to laugh at the voice in your head.  

If that's the case, I have a limited number of sessions that I offer to help people discover their confidence.  

I'd love to hear your comments on this post

Gillian Lewis
FOLLOW ME

Gillian Lewis

Self Image Coach at Gillian Lewis: Spectrum Coaching and Consultancy based in Darlington, County Durham, UK
What on earth is a Self-Image Coach I hear you ask – it’s cross between a Confidence Coach and Image Consultant.

I help clients become happier and more confident by giving them a Makeover from the Inside Out to change their internal and external view of themselves.

I'm not really interested in fashion, just what clothes can do for your self-image - that's where the Forget Fashion blog title originated, so I won't be doing much commentary on the latest catwalk styles.Instead, I write about things I come across in life that make me reflect.Sometimes it's serious.Sometimes it's just fun.Hopefully you'll like my writing style, find what I write about interesting and enjoy the experience.If you do, share the love using the boxes below - thank you 😀
Gillian Lewis
FOLLOW ME
About Gillian Lewis

What on earth is a Self-Image Coach I hear you ask – it’s cross between a Confidence Coach and Image Consultant.

I help clients become happier and more confident by giving them a Makeover from the Inside Out to change their internal and external view of themselves.

I'm not really interested in fashion, just what clothes can do for your self-image - that's where the Forget Fashion blog title originated, so I won't be doing much commentary on the latest catwalk styles. Instead, I write about things I come across in life that make me reflect. Sometimes it's serious. Sometimes it's just fun. Hopefully you'll like my writing style, find what I write about interesting and enjoy the experience. If you do, share the love using the boxes below - thank you :-D

Comments

  1. That voice does come and go for me, it tends to come back when I’ve worked nose to the ground for six weeks and I come up for air and see that I’ve neglected myself, it’s a habit I am trying to break as the distortion is such a heavy negative thing to carry around! I’m so glad I joined th NE bloggers group, I’ve loved browsing your blog Gillian!

    • You’re so right, running yourself into the ground can make you as prone to negative thoughts as coming down with a cold, and we need to consider self-care.

      I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed my blog posts; there are some great blogs on the #NEBloggers group 😀

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