Choosing what to wear

I posted this video on my Facebook page last week.  It's all about some rather questionable choices that are made when partners choose what to wear for each other.  Watching the video, I realised there was more that I wanted to say about it.

More...

Now, whatever you think about the choices made about what to wear (by both parties both before and after!), the main thing to have a look at in the video is the reaction of the person being dressed.  Virtually every one gives the impression this would not be what they would choose for themselves.  

Now, imagine if you were not terribly confident about what to wear and also don't like to offend people by saying what you really think (and let's face it, lots of women feel conflicted if they feel they might upset somebody if they told the truth).  You've gone out shopping with a friend or loved one (or you might have just gone into a shop and the salesperson is trying to sell to you) and they start to make suggestions about what you could try on.  They might accompany you to the changing rooms and tell you that you look fantastic when you come out wearing an outfit that you're tugging and pulling at because it's so uncomfortable for you.  

You know it's not you, but you can't actually say the words "I don't like it" because....

Choosing what to wear -
  • You don't like conflict
  • You think they'll be offended if you reject their suggestion
  • You know they always look great so they must be right

​But where does it leave you if you don't speak up?  Frustrated and uncomfortable?  Possibly confused about what looks good on you?

I met a lady at a networking event a while ago and she had just launched her own business.  She had gone to a big department store and used their personal shopper who created an outfit for her to wear to networking events.  She hated it and she wasn't comfortable being pressed into this suit with matching handbag and shoes.  And to my eye, as a trained image consultant, it didn't suit her colouring, bodyshape, or clearly her style personality (because she felt uncomfortable about what she was wearing and that it "wasn't her").​

Now, if you're not sure about choosing clothes, of course you can listen to your family and friends' advice - but what if they are as much in the dark as you?  What if you were one half of a couple in this video and there were some real doubts put in your mind about what to wear given what your partner had suggested? 

Wouldn't it be better to know what clothes worked for you?  ​

A lot of people might think that working with an Image Consultant is only for people who are celebrities or avid followers of fashion - and there are Image Consultants who cater for this market.  I don't.

I work with women who mostly just aren't sure about what clothes to wear.  They might never have been interested in buying lots of clothes; they might never have known what suited them; they might have gone through a major life-changing event; they may have lost weight or put weight on, and they probably don't want to spend all of their time obsessing about clothes (either in a good or a bad way) and working with me helps them to define their own style so that they can forget about fashion and get on with living their life knowing that they look great.

I help them to choose clothes which fit and flatter their body shape, proportions and colouring.  I help them to work out their Style Personality and locate shops that are particularly good at stocking clothes they will love.

Now, I confess, I have clients who have been dismayed during a consultation when I've told them that their favourite colour makes them look drawn and tired when they wear it, or their favourite baggy top doesn't actually make them look slimmer (and in reality creates the appearance that they are a size bigger than they really are), but sometimes those people are the very ones who go away and reflect then come back to me later saying how right I was when they've implemented some of the changes that I suggest.  

And at the end of the consultation, I always tell clients they can choose to wear whatever they want.  In fact, I break my own rules too sometimes- but the difference is that I know what the consequences are.

I never have to rely on anybody else for a second opinion when I'm choosing what to wear, and I never fear a negative reaction from a shopping companion when I reject their suggestions - "it's not in the rules of what works for me" is normally a good enough response 😀

Want to have confidence choosing what to wear?

If you would like to know what clothes shapes and styles work for you....

I'd love to hear your comments on this post

Gillian Lewis
FOLLOW ME

Gillian Lewis

Self Image Coach at Gillian Lewis: Spectrum Coaching and Consultancy based in Darlington, County Durham, UK
What on earth is a Self-Image Coach I hear you ask – it’s cross between a Confidence Coach and Image Consultant.

I help clients become happier and more confident by giving them a Makeover from the Inside Out to change their internal and external view of themselves.

I'm not really interested in fashion, just what clothes can do for your self-image - that's where the Forget Fashion blog title originated, so I won't be doing much commentary on the latest catwalk styles.Instead, I write about things I come across in life that make me reflect.Sometimes it's serious.Sometimes it's just fun.Hopefully you'll like my writing style, find what I write about interesting and enjoy the experience.If you do, share the love using the boxes below - thank you 😀
Gillian Lewis
FOLLOW ME
About Gillian Lewis

What on earth is a Self-Image Coach I hear you ask – it’s cross between a Confidence Coach and Image Consultant.

I help clients become happier and more confident by giving them a Makeover from the Inside Out to change their internal and external view of themselves.

I'm not really interested in fashion, just what clothes can do for your self-image - that's where the Forget Fashion blog title originated, so I won't be doing much commentary on the latest catwalk styles. Instead, I write about things I come across in life that make me reflect. Sometimes it's serious. Sometimes it's just fun. Hopefully you'll like my writing style, find what I write about interesting and enjoy the experience. If you do, share the love using the boxes below - thank you :-D

%d bloggers like this: